Gleichgewicht

Overlooking Heidelberg along the Philosophenweg

11. Gleichgewicht das [Balance]: the most hated, but most important word for any study abroad student; the act of figuring out how much time to put into studying, writing papers, traveling, playing tennis, doing an internship, meeting Germans, sleeping and eating, and going out with friends….ugh…

I cannot hide the fact that these past few weeks have been a slight struggle for me. The question of “why am I really here” has been put on repeat in my mind as I lay in bed each night. Where is my classroom? Am I expected to just learn and grow as a student in the traditional classroom? Will taking my courses be enough to get the true “study abroad student” experience? Am I being a bad student, since I am doing more during the week and weekends than I normally do? Don’t get me wrong, I am still dedicating sufficient time to do my real homework and am reaching deadlines, but I am seriously over-involved in things other than my traditional studies. Through tennis, having a sweet German tandem partner, traveling on weekends, and making new friends, I am definitely busy and am growing so much as a person and student. As I have said in past blog posts (but I keep on needing to remind myself), I am learning so many life-essential lessons outside of the traditional classroom and my German language abilities are put to the test every minute in the “real world.” But my biggest problem here is finding the right balance of, what I will call, the “traditional” and “study abroad” classroom.”

This post will update my progress in the “study abroad” classroom. Believe me, I have had so much fun here, but even trying to go to Apotheke (pharmacy) and ask for Ibuprofen was challenging. I had to look up words like inflammation, carpal tunnel, injury, etc. before I went there! But don’t worry, I passed that test- I was able to walk out of the Apotheke with my much needed medication. More on the reasons why to come…

In Basel on my birthday

To start, I celebrated my 21^st birthday in the end of April. While I was preparing to go to Germany, I often felt sad thinking that I would miss my  21^st birthday with friends and family. Although it would have been wonderful to have had them with me, I must say that turning 21 in Germany, even though I was already legal, was just fine. In fact, I can proudly say that I had a pretty classy 21^st birthday.  That weekend, I first went to Heidelberg with a friend from the program. We took the train early Saturday morning and spent the entire day touring the city. Heidelberg is an absolutely charming and romantic city, filled with history and culture. We climbed up to the famous castle and took our time in the Apotheke Museum, learning about Germany’s influence of the development of chemistry and medicine. We then sat outside and ate delicious Italian pizza, truly savoring each bite and our surroundings. The Philosopher’s Walk definitely burned the calories we ate. We walked across over to the famous Heidelberg bridge and then climbed up to a path called the Philosopher’s Walk. Fragrant lilacs and grape vines surrounded us and to our right was always a fantastic view of the beautiful Innenstadt of Heidelberg. I can see why famous philosophers walked here!

My actual birthday, Sunday, took place in Basel, Switzerland. I met a long time friend there, who lives in Switzerland. It was such a lovely reunion, especially since it was the first time I spent with her in her home country. I couldn’t help but smile, whenever I heard her use the “distinguished” Swiss-German dialect. We went to the art museum and toured through the special Renior exhibit, which was absolutely fantastic. We then walked through the streets of the beautiful Basel. Since it was Sunday, all of the shops where closed, so I loved the more relaxed mood of the town. I was also not tempted to then go shopping, which is always a good thing. We talked for hours at yet another Italian restaurant, overlooking the Rhine River. At the train station, we split a small bottle of champagne, celebrating my birthday and we sadly had to then say farewell. I hope to visit her in Zürich soon, though! Oh, and fun fact. Roger Federer is from Basel, which makes me love Basel even more.

Staufen

Königsbourg in Alsace, France

My course on the Middle Ages also recently went on a day-long field trip, traveling to sites that still had traces to Medieval Europe. We saw ruins of once majestic fortresses in southern Baden-Württemberg, a castle and medieval town in the Elsass region of France. At the end of the day, we went to Staufen, a small town near Freiburg. This is where the legendary Dr. Faustus supposedly died, as famously noted in Goethe’s Faust. To celebrate the best fieldtrip of our entire lives, we had a wine tasting at a small winery in Staufen. To study the Middle Ages in a classroom and in textbooks is fascinating, but to actually see the sites reminded me why studying in Germany was such a good idea.

Last weekend, I hiked in the Schwarzwald with a few friends. We chose an area near Freiburg called Schönberg, which was absolutely breathtaking (because of it’s beauty AND steep hills). Of course, we chose to go hiking on the hottest day yet, 90 degrees to be exact, but I absolutely loved it. We hiked through valleys filled with wildflowers and woods that had that fresh, earthy smell. After three hours, we reached our destination to have a lunch break: at the ruins of the Schneeburg, a former small fortress. My friends and I took out our homemade sandwiches, sat by a window overlooking the Kaiserstuhl mountains, and to our right we could see Freiburg, off in the distance. I just loved the atmosphere and definitely got a good butt and leg workout from all of the climbing. No wonder why Germans can eat so much cheese, wurst, and chocolate! I better go hiking more often...

Tennis on clay continues to get better, although my patience with learning the new surface is beginning to run out. But being able to interact with girls my own age is really nice, and I am really testing my German language abilities with them. My tennis club has three women’s tennis teams. The first has players from all over the world, meaning they are very, very good. The second has current and former successful NCAA Division I players, meaning that they are very good also. The third also has very strong players (Division III level, I would say). I am right in between team two and three, so I practice with both of them. On Sundays, we have matches. My first match was in the small town Emmeldingen, about 45 minutes north of Freiburg. The girls on my team are all so sweet and I just love being in a tennis atmosphere. The format is just like college tennis at home: 6 singles matches, 3 doubles matches. I lost singles, but dominated in doubles. Afterwards, we all showered and the home team made us a meal. Beer was of course served. The next week, I injured my hand. The doctor says from overuse, carpal tunnel, so it’s sadly dampening my determination to improve my skills on clay. I tried to play this past weekend with my team in Lörrach, but my stupid hand got in the way. It was probably a blessing in disguise, since I have to rest it now and wear an annoying brace, giving me more time to write two research papers! Which I should go back to doing…

Ausländerin

10. Ausländerin die [foreigner]: any person knows that German natives say this word with their stare and then look you up and down; someone who doesn’t dress “German” or speaks too loudly with a strange accent; or someone who just looks lost in the classroom or on the street.

Yep, I have definitely realized that I am a foreigner here in Germany, but to say that I have accepted the fact that I am is another question. Sometimes I just want to fit in and when I order a large, soft pretzel at the Bäckerei (in German, mind you), I want the Bäcker to say “danke,” not “thank you.” Or if I am struggling with “tennis talk” in German, I don’t want a teammate to reply in German and then say the score in English, as if that is the problem. But the part where I felt like a foreigner the most was in my new University class.  Thanks to this fascinating, yet terrifying “Uni” class, these past few weeks have been crazy, crazy, crazy.

In addition to my three IES program courses, I challenged myself in taking a class at the actual University of Freiburg, Albert-Ludwigs-Üniversität, which is one of Germany’s top universities.  Some notable professors include Dr. Johann Maier von Eck (theologian, known for defending Catholicism during the Reformation), Hans Krebs (the founder of the Krebs Cycle), Max Weber (the well-known philosopher and sociologist), and Konrad Adenauer (former Chancellor of Germany). I definitely felt honored to learn in an institution where such notable people contributed to the University’s success. “Das Deutsche Kaiserreich” course first met on the second Wednesday after Easter in a small, stuffy room. Thankfully, the first day was just an introduction to the class, so I understood everything and even participated in class.  The “foreigner” feeling came the following Monday, where the class met for the “Tutorat,” or rather tutorial where we discuss the class with a tutor (like a TA). It was just me, and the German University students. I was already friendly with many of them and could practically fluently engage in normal conversation with them, so I thought the Tutorat would be fine, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong! The majority of the German students in my class were first year students, even though they were interestingly my age. I soon found out that the Tutorat was teaching the students how to write and study history, with a focus on the historiography of the German Kaiserreich period. All this I learned in the past three years at Lawrence, so I felt way above the students, except for one very significant problem: talking history in German!! What the tutor and students discussed in class were things that I already knew, but it was so hard to keep up with them when they spoke so fast. I realized that there is a major difference of “regular German” and “academic German.” Instead of panicking, I decided to just hide and try to get everything I could from the class (which was hard to accept because I am usually the student who always participates). But even that tactic didn’t work, because all of sudden we were divided in groups and given sheets of paper with sentences that we were supposed to discuss and then present our conclusions as a group. As I was trying to remember what “Quellen” meant, my group stood up and handed me a sheet of paper and told me that I should present the meaning of the sentence. I stood in front of thirty students, all eyes on me, and I felt like the stupidest person alive, as I stared at the sentence, that I, to this day, have no idea what it meant. I tried to be funny and simply said in German that I didn’t understand what the sentence meant, not because I am dumb, but because I am a foreigner, so I asked if anyone could explain the meaning to me. Although the class laughed, I felt eyes on me throughout the rest of class and all the way to the streetcar. But the funny thing is that I was never scared or nervous, I remained calm and I am now even more determined to improve my German, especially my academic German.

Another time where I feel like a foreigner the most is when I play tennis. I have played tennis for practically my entire life and I have been a tennis instructor for six years now, so I think that I can say that I know tennis. Well, I don’t feel that way when I am here. Don’t get me wrong, I am having such a great time playing tennis in Germany, but after Easter, we are now playing outside on clay. Finally I get to play outside, but this is my first time really on clay, so I am having a really hard time adjusting to the new surface. Every time I move, I feel like I am going to fall and since I can’t slide yet, I have to awkwardly run to the ball, losing my timing completely. So basically, my game is pretty crappy right now. And I can now easily talk to my teammates about things outside of tennis, but what super frustrates me, is that I cannot talk tennis with them. It will definitely take a lot of patience when I play tennis and also when I want to talk tennis.

I realize now that as a foreigner, I need to get rid of my ego and realize that I cannot look like the smartest person in the world here, because I am not. I keep on trying to prove that just because I am a foreigner, I am not dumb, I know more things academically and in tennis in my own country. I have this new appreciation for foreign students at my home university and admire their bravery for studying there, but also for immigrants throughout history. Throughout history people have immigrated with absolutely no understanding of their new country’s language and culture. In the native’s eyes, they must have looked foolish and stupid. I can how understand the foreigner’s frustration of proving themselves that they do have skills.

So although these past few weeks have been a little difficult, I still feel fortunate to have been put in situations where I feel uncomfortable, because, every time, I feel like I am learning so much as a student and growing as a person.

My German roommates surprised me with a Johannisbeerenkuchen on my birthday!
 More on my birthday and other adventures later :)